( March 10, 2011 ) — A few years ago, they were standing half-naked in front of bathroom mirrors taking pictures, making sure to position their Samsung digital cameras at that precise angle where their two-toned, side swept bangs just about covered their signature “raccoon eyes.” They commented on each other’s pictures and called each other “doll” and “gorgeous” and claimed that despite the fact that they all looked alike and shared the affinity for modernized mullets, they hated labels and were “nonconformists.” Suddenly these once-labeled “scene kids” have managed to put some clothes on and even took it upon themselves to add a few unnecessary accessories. These over-sized, thick rimmed glasses? No, they’re not graded, but if we were grading fashion statements, you would get an A plus. As for the raccoon eyes and side-swept bangs? Looking like you actually care, was so last year. Go natural and take pictures of yourself in nature with your Nikon D7000, because big cameras are retro. Right? Same story. New look. New word: hipster. It’s not so much the I-don’t-really-care-how-I-look-but-I-still-buy-$60-shirts-from-Urban-Outfitters image, but the I-don’t-like-being-labeled-but-I-wear-my-Oxfords-religiously-so-please-notice-me attitude that irks many who do not wish to partake in this camaraderie of nonconformity; it’s these hipsters’ denial of what they really want, and in a sense who they really are: people who truly and wholeheartedly do want to be labeled hipsters. Why do we have to pretend like it’s not because of the fashion trends that we’re dressed like this, but because we are somehow genetically predisposed, like all the other hipsters out there, to bad astigmatism and therefore need extra large glasses? Why do we have to pretend like we discovered these indie bands at some underground lounge, when in reality we probably just found them on Purevolume or Youtube? Is there even an organic hipster left? More likely than not, the emergence of the label in popular culture has killed off anyone who was once, if ever, a true “hipster.” Now, we’re left with posers who only wish they were the real deal, because you can’t pretend like you don’t notice that you’re dressed like everyone else. You can’t pretend like you don’t know what a hipster is and that you somehow, coincidentally, completely match the description of what a hipster is. You can’t pretend that your fashion sense was truly your own original idea, and no one is going to pretend like they thought it was. There’s no use in hiding your Urban Outfitters shopping bags. Dust those bad boys off and reuse them the next time you go grocery shopping for organic fruits. That’s what other hipsters would do. Conform, and admit it.