(March 26, 2004) — “What does Wonder Horse mean to the narrator? What does he learn from it?” These questions should ring loudly in the minds of the 283 students who took the California High School Exit Exam (CAHSEE) last week. During the CAHSEE, students were allotted a minimum two-hour time block for each session, though the question of why we needed so much time is mind-boggling. The English section consisted of D.O.L.-type sentences, which were as easy as filling in the bubbles, no doubt if one had the Davis’ for Humanities. Mode, median and mean were all words taught and played with during elementary school with cookies and candies. Students then move on to bigger and better things such as average, square root and hyperbola. No longer do we ponder what the result of 1,000,000 minus 1/9th might be, rather what x is if log 78 to the x’th = log 1748132 to the 1/9th power or what e is if ln to the .0859 = ln e to the .0015t. If there were more questions along this line than maybe all the anticipation would be justified. However, the CAHSEE expects us to remember equations and words from our booger-eating days. Asking for the median of a line is the same as asking for the explanation of what “googoo gaga” meant at the age of four. I don’t even remember what I ate last night! The California High School Exit Exam is meant to test your knowledge of all the materials taught in high school, hence the word “High,” not Elementary or Middle School. Not to mention the essay question, which, for people who’ve had all these months to plan out, was pretty lame. The number of people who wrote three-page ess ays was astounding considering that the story on which the essay was based wasn’t even that long. No doubt those essays were full of repetitive sayings used to endorse the main message. Who in their right mind, without going off tangents, could possibly write on the same subject for so long–with the exception of the brain children who could write a book on practically anything? All the talk and fear about the CAHSEE hyped up the stress-meter for what turned out to be nothing more than finishing a gallon of ice cream without having brain freeze–easy but tedious.