(June 13, 2005) — Vroom vroom vroom went the bus in my head, as I patiently awaited the arrival of the real one at the Metro Route 91 bus stop. Tick tock went the clock as my total wait time reached the looming total of one hour. My eyes wandered over the collarbone of my companion and settled on an old lump of early 90’s reflector ridden clothing as it emitted a ghastly puff of smoke from what was once a mouth. How attractive. It wasn’t my first time seeing this character. Our last run-in took place on a lovely afternoon in March aboard the Route 3 Beeline; I was angry at the world, he was wearing a Santa Claus hat…complete with what looked like overdue vegetable oil stains. Suddenly, our attentions were diverted by the piercing giggles of a pair of A&F bag toting adolescent females. Two steps behind the two miniskirts was what seemed to be a skinny little boy clad in “scene” attire, complete with black nail polish and girl’s jeans, available now at your local Hot Topic. The trio settled on a nearby bench and joined us in awaiting the arrival of the belated mega monster. Toot-toot-toot. What to do when time doesn’t fly. Aha! Action! My eyes darted over to the mini friendship circle closing in on the homeless man and his seemingly never-ending supply of brown cigarettes. A little voice was heard from the little scene kid’s mouth. “Oh wow! Those are awesome!” (Muttering from the old one’s mouth) “Yeah, yeah, I know! Can we have some?” And right there, before our very eyes, from beneath the reflector covered sleeve of the lump appeared a wrinkled hand, cradling a pair of cigarettes for the cute young ‘uns. Smiling, the scene kid accepted the gift and gave his thanks as payment. And that was it. Who knew that despite the government’s attempts at controlling adolescent smoking by initiating the infamous “We Card” campaign, there would still be an array of options for acquiring such merchandise, such as reflector clad old lumps on bus stops. Tisk-tisk.