(September 29, 2005) — As one walks to the checkout aisle of the local supermarket, two things are invariably passed: a healthy selection of non-healthy candies to the right, and a colorful assortment of fashion magazines geared towards young girls and soccer moms to the left. These fashion magazines all have some amazingly unique name spread in bold at the top, whether it be Instyle, Glamour, Vogue, GQ, Cosmopolitan. Also, by some divine coincidence, these guides to pop-culture always share the same two headlines every month, though usually worded differently and with a different, randomly selected number. Headline number one is typically a variation of “Beauty Tips That Work,” and headline number two is generally something to the effect of “78 Unspoken Secrets of your man; the MANual EVERY Woman Should Read!” My gripe today lies with the latter headline. I could not care less that such a headline is printed, but it is the fact that such a headline appears in EVERY fashion magazine EVERY month. (Keep in mind that these magazines have been in print for at least 40 years). With this fact in mind, it is quite safe to assume that over 5000 “unspoken secrets of men” have been spoken over the years in just one magazine alone. Still with me? Because this is where it gets interesting (and slightly scientific as well, I’m afraid). It is men in fact, not women, who should be receiving monthly guides to the “unspoken secrets” of women. A recent study conducted by Genome expert Dr. Huntington Willard of Duke University has explained that the 46 th chromosome that all women have, that second X, is “working at levels greater than we knew.” That extra X is responsible for 200-300 genes in women that habilitate a significant increase of gene expression over men. This discovery would explain why the behavioral patterns in men and women vary so greatly: why men blame women for generalizing and why women blame men for accusing them to be unpredictable, inscrutable and downright manipulative. Women have the right to generalize about men, as the study explains that the simplicity of the Y chromosome causes men to behave with similar thought processes. Men, at the same time, have been committing no wrongs by saying that women are impossible to understand, as it is literally written into their genes. All I need to wait for now is Maxim, FHM and Sports Illustrated to send me monthly lists entitled “ 94 Secrets that Women Never Wanted You to Know!”