(December 14, 2006) — Las Vegas—sin city. I recently had the privilege, if you could call it that, to go to Las Vegas with my significant other. The trip was great fun; however, during the stay I noticed a number of peculiar things—things that definitely make me question the human being, specifically the species’ integrity. First off is the advertisement card distributors. These people stand on various street corners in groups of eight to nine, throwing business cards at all who pass. Now, if it were one guy throwing one card at me, it might not be so bad; however, being flurried by eight to nine cards all at once is a completely different story. On a few occasions the card flew by me at such lighting speeds that I received paper cuts: one on my neck, and one on my arm. It was as if I was being attacked by ninjas, except right in front of the Paris Hotel! Now where’s the dignity in attacking a young sixteen-year-old couple with square cardboard ninja star-esque weapons. Yet the horror doesn’t end there. The other issue was one that lasted throughout my entire stay, from the plane ride there to the car ride back. Walking off the plane into the Las Vegas airport was fine—minus the fact that it was like a theme park, with the addition of mass gambling. The gambling alone is enough to warrant a scoff; however, what would come next would evoke a convulsion. Outside the airport was a billboard, the largest I’ve ever seen. I was dwarfed by its massive size and all I could see was white and tan. I stepped back from the gargantuan advertising monster to see a group of eight men, conspicuously missing their shirts, clad in only a towel and towers of muscle. The masculinity level was off the charts—one of their faces resembled that of a being related closer to an ape than an actual man; however, the meaning was still conveyed by the blue text that lay at the bottom of the billboard; “THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER.” Any confidence I once had in the integrity of man was now completely marauded from my mind. How sick, how despicable—public ads for promiscuous services. Advertising is good and all, but what about those who don’t fall into the demographic that “THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER” is targeting? What about that eighty-year-old woman who does not wish to stare at massive biceps and sweat glistened chests? What about that impressionable five year old who looks at the hulking beasts and believes he has to be like that? I completely understand advertising, but to pollute someone’s vision with such trash, well that’s just poppycock.