‘Jupiter Ascending’ floats at best

photo via collider.com under the Creative Commons license

Channing Tatum uses funky alien technology in Jupiter Ascending.

Warner Brothers and the Wachowskis have not had a decent track record ever since the two first debuted with The Matrix in 1999. But as soon as they entered the 21st century, their films began to lack both major quality or any sufficient financial gain. The Matrix sequels, while profitable, were complete misfires and their following releases, Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas, were both flops at the box office not well-received. As fate would have it, history repeats itself with Jupiter Ascending, another bloated, sci-fi trainwreck.

After having been pushed back from last summer due to poor response from research screenings, the film will finally see the light of day Feb. 6, and most likely be another over-budget disaster that won’t make its money back. Starring Mila Kunis as the toilet-scrubbing caretaker Jupiter Jones, who happens to be a descendant of an ancient family known as the House of Abrasax, and Channing Tatum as the genetically engineered ex-military soldier with pointy ears, Caine, the film follows them and their quest to balance the cosmos and to have Jupiter claim her title as the leader of the Abrasax before her evil siblings use its power to destroy Earth.

This is just another by-the-book space opera riddled with uneven performances. Beginning with Kunis, who is horribly miscast as the lead. Her action-star persona and miraculous bravery aren’t believable for one second, and Tatum is just as lost in his role, but in a different way. He plays Caine with this uncompelling stoic nature, and it just comes off as stiff. As for poor Eddie Redmayne, who’s hot off his Oscar nomination for The Theory of Everything, he ends up being the single worst part of the film. At times, he channels a sort of Nicolas Cage-esque over-the-top nature that is mildly amusing, but for the most part, he’s just a ridiculously nonthreatening villain.

One major talent the Wachowskis have always had is that they know how to make a great looking movie, and they’ve done pretty much that here. The special effects are perfectly fine, the cinematography is nice and steady and the sets that aren’t lazily placed in via greenscreen are impressive. Also, Michael Giacchino’s score has this terrifically classic sci-fi feel to it, much like his previous work in films such as Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and the Star Trek series. But a few decent technical aspects aren’t enough to fix this colossal failure.

Any kind movie magic the Wachowskis have shown during their career is pretty much dead at this point, and it’s been dead ever since the first Matrix movie. This is an unoriginal original concept created by two talented siblings that never soars the way it hoped it would.